Marcos In Chicago

Here we go again.

2005-12-12T02:27:00.000-06:00

So, I inteded to sleep from 4 until 7, when I would get up and go to chuch. I ended up sleeping till about 1am. Not good.

Off to Dunkin Donuts for dinner. Here's to another 36 hours without sleep.

I made it about 64 hours.

2005-12-10T11:19:00.000-06:00

I just finished reading The Medium is the Massage, it sucked ass. Further proves the pointlessness of communication studies. Sorry Mr. McLuhan, but electronic media seperates people, it doesn't bring us together. Try again.

I went and had Breakfast at Lakeshore. I am stuffed. Four pancakes, four strips of bacon, two sausages, a bowl of cereal, a banana, an apple, orange juice and milk...oh man. I have to run today for sure.

Off to do more paper stuff. Damn.

I should be working on paper the second.

2005-12-09T02:21:00.000-06:00

Since I woke up from a 10 hour sleep on tuesday at 10pm, it has been around 52 hours.

I have slept four of those.

And i'm not really all that tired right now.

I need to do logic homework. And write about 9 more pages of my Politics of the Middle East paper.

I'll do it.

I could use some Dunkin Donuts coffee though. Soon, soon.

At this moment in a week I'll hopefully be at Cafe Brazil in Richardson, relaxing.

Not doing work

2005-12-05T03:30:00.000-06:00

The books currently in front of me, to be used for my Contemporary Political Thought final paper:

The Spanish-American War by Joseph Smith
The War with Spain in 1898 by David Trask
Christianity and Power Politics by Reinhold Niebuhr
Moral Man and Immoral Society by Reinhold Niebuhr
The Irony of American History by Reinhold Niebhur
Children of Light and Children of Darkness by Reinhold Niebuhr
Reinhold Niehbur: Prophet to Politicians by Ronald Stone
The Political Realism of Reinhold Niebuhr by Colm McKeogh
Scientific Man vs. Power Politics by Hans Morgenthau

Plus, my trusty Penguin Dictionary of International Relations is at my side. I usually use that for bathroom reading because I’m a giant dork. Good that I’m finally putting it to productive use.

This is not very fun. Interesting, but not fun. Nothing is fun at 3:25 in the morning other than drinking or at Standees or Clarke’s on Belmont (not the shitty one on Fullerton) recovering from drinking.

The Extra Large Coffee from Dunkin Donuts is doing nothing. Oh well, more coffee at 1/3 the price than Starbucks. But then again, I still go to starbucks to spite the Stupid Hater Bitches (or, “dumbass republicans”) who laugh at hoity-toity Lie-berals who chose to have our expensive coffee. Starbucks gives 100% of its contributions to the Democratic Party, so I’m not going to stop drinking there anytime soon.

But Dunkin Donuts still tastes better.

I got really drunk this weekend. I also hit on about 3498743597 Freshman, and hooked up with none. The fun is in the chase anyway.

I’m coming off like a total asshole in this entry, with my “look at all the books I’m reading and my drinking and hitting on and insulting”…whatever. I’m rambling. It’s late. This beats Doing Stuff.

Model UN was two weekends ago. I met a girl. A nice, sweet, pretty, piano-playing girl. Naturally, she lives about 1500 miles away. I also did some stuff and insulted the shit out of the lame community college kids who were representing Timor-Leste. They sucked. I was FYROM, or The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia. Say that three times fast. I basically sat around and bitched about things with Thailand. They were cool. We hated our committee and just kept calling roll call votes to piss people off and waste time. The asshat from Timor-Leste insulted my partner (long boring model un story) and I ripped him a new asshole for his disrespect. Guy didn’t even look at me for the rest of the conference.

I also imbibed excessive amounts of alcohol and made an ass out of myself on the dance floor. It was totally worth it.

Last week/end was spent at home with my parents. It was nice to be home. I didn’t see my dad because I didn’t try very hard. Whatever.

School has been boring. I’m ready for Texas.

I want to throw a party when we all get home. When’s good for everyone?

Schedule

2005-11-16T15:06:00.000-06:00

MWF
Nothing. At all.
Wow.

TTH
8:30-945 English 371 The Modern Novel
10:00-11:15 English 326 The Plays of Shakespeare
11:30-12:45 Political Science 374 Democracy
1:00-2:30 Political Science 367 Model UN
2:30-3:45 English 376 American Lit. 1865-1914

T Only
4:15-6:30 Political Science 430 Theories of International Politics

Huh. Either that or have 4 upper level english classes. Next semester should be...interesting.

Stupid fucking sleeping patterns

2005-11-14T04:09:00.000-06:00

Goddamn. This is ridiculous. I need to buy a bottle of Nyquil.

So much for waking up early and doing Logic...

Karl Marx is a worthless fucking moron

2005-11-08T01:00:00.000-06:00

So I've missed like 2 weeks of the 40 year old virgin's class and the times that I have been there, I've been asleep. I seriously need an A in that class so i'm just doing all the readings. Anyway, I came across this sentence in Marx's Economic and Philosophic Manuscripts:

How could the worker stand in an alien relationship to the product of his activity if he did not alienate himself from himself in the very act of production?

What. The. Fuck.

Oh yes, and Marx was a career academic who was the son of a minister. Meaning, he never did real work...ever.

sitting on the 8th floor of 25 east pearson looking down chicago ave.

2005-11-06T13:58:00.000-06:00

This really isn't as interesting as I hoped it would be.

I'm sorry Dr. G-Funk, but a 12 page paper on that just isn't going to work out. You should just be in awe of my already awesome ablities and just tell Hopkins to take me now, like a cheap southside hooker. Of course, considering the fact that I got a D on my last test in The Fat Man's class, I really, really have to take this shit seriously so I can get 5 A's and a B this semester. The Fat Man my try to beat me down, but I am too lean and fast for him! Wait, that's not accurate. He's already taken me down. Damn. Oh well. The point I'm trying to make is that I'll get this done. Eventually. But I won't like, professor, not one bit. And the fact that their website is in two languages that I don't understand doesn't help much either.

I apologize for the lack of updates. I will try harder in the coming days to keep my 4 readers more updated on the goings on of my life.

The sky is grey. The clouds are low. There is a fire truck in front of a Godforsaken Condo Buliding that Pollutes The Skyline.

I still haven't seen Hamlet. In fact, I did nothing at all this weeked. I bought a first edition, hardcover, third printing of this. It was $6.50. I'm the master shopper. Not really. I attempted to shop on Friday and failed miserably. All I bought was a tie for my Father. It's nice and my dad's an asshat, so I might keep it for myself. Then again, to deny my father a gift on his 50th birthday...but he did ruin my childhood. We'll see.

The fire truck is still there but I see no flames or fire. Weird.

I wish Chicago didn't look so shitty in the winter. I wish I would have done something interesting this weekend. I still need to go see Hamlet. I WILL go see Hamlet next weekend. It has been decided.

I see bits of blue sky when I look up.

culture what what

2005-10-22T19:31:00.000-05:00

someone go see this with me.

C'mon. Free Shakespeare!

Dear Blogger,

2005-10-20T23:19:00.000-05:00

Stop being stupid. That is all.

Sincerely, Marcos.

blah blah blah school blah blah tests blah

2005-10-20T21:27:00.001-05:00

One of the annoying things about sleeping in class is that it makes up for my not sleeping enough the previous night.

No, really, this makes sense.

I've been striving for straight a's, but since my chances of that are about to be flushed down the toilet soon, it would make sense that I should attempt to, well, stay awake in class.

Alas, that is so difficult! Today in the 40 year old virgin's class, I passed out. Whenever I woke up (every 10 or so minutes), I wrote down whatever had just come out of his mouth at that moment. So naturally, when class is over, I'm already well rested. No rest for the refreshed!

Oh well, that class is worthless anyway. I spent a grand total of about 20 minutes studying for the exam and ended up pulling a B+ on the first test. Oh I'm a badass, hells yeah. Other classes are somewhat good: A perfect score on my UN & International Orgs midterm, a B+ on the first Logic test, but my Public Policy was a 41/50, which means without extra credit, that class is an A- at best. In short, FUCK.

And don't get me started on the Mideast politics midterm...

...monday morning
marcos: So, this essay test, well, how long do you want our answers to be?
dr. tezcur: Well, a paragraph for the short answer and I guess...3 for the long essay?

Simple enough, right? Of course, this means I barely fill half the blue book with all the crazy overachievers are writing on the fucking BACK COVER of the goddamn thing. Granted, I write small and I've always been pretty concise...but still, that shit freaks me out. Damn nerds makin' me look bad.

ANYWAY, I am so lazy. I've been out of class since 1115 and I have yet to start studying for the Contemporary Political Thought midterm and my second Logic test tomorrow. No worries. As long as I get to the library...soon...I should be good.

***

In non-academic related news, I've been reading The Satanic Verses and kind of realize why Rushdie had a fatwa issued on his head. I kind of get the subtle heresy in it all, and I suppose if someone wrote a Catholic type version of this book, I might be pissed off too. It's a bit like Pynchon's writing, but not as obtuse and lacking (I think?) many of Pynchon's crazy references.

Also, I think that this might be fun, in a "I think I am losing my mind to endurance sports" kind of way.

Weekend seems to be filled with college democrats stuff and a blackhawks game, and hopefully may involve a bottle of tequila, but hey, whatever comes up, comes up.

And if no blackhawks game, well, then Kate, expect a call and a spur of the moment Idea!

Marcos Runs A Marathon

2005-10-16T17:46:00.000-05:00

a description of the events that took place at the chicago marathon, 10/9/05

STARTING LINE: I really, really have to take a piss. I’m not fucking joking. I’m about to start running a fucking marathon and I have to take a piss. I went over to the port-a-potties and was about to jump into one, until I turned my head around and realized that there were ten people at in each line for each toilet. Mind you, there were around 60 of these things in the general vicinity. I said, “Fuck it” and decided that I should just attempt to sweat it out. Dear lord, just help me finish this thing.

MILE 1: I still need to take a piss, but it’s not as bad. It’s now only a slight annoyance and I’m starting to settle into a pace.

MILE 2.25: Parents! Yay parents. A million spectators line this course, and somehow I’m able to spot out my parents. Still need to piss.

MILE 5: Anti-Bush protestors. Always everywhere. I try to raise my arms up and give them a shout, but I’m not sure if they took at support or abuse. Then again, most people didn’t give a shit anyway, because we’re too focused on the fact that we’re not even 1/5 of the way done yet.

MILE 6: The sun is blazing. I am hot. Really hot. Maybe Under Armour was a bad idea…

MILE 7: Scratch that. I’m fucking cold and I need a hoodie now. Goddamn condos. At least I don’t have to piss anymore.

MILE 7.5: We are in Boystown. The Gay Army is dancing with rifles off to the side, and Mike screaming GO MARCOS from the sidewalk shatters my entertainment. I feel great and then I notice the cross dressers have set up a stage and are dancing for us.

MILE 9-13: This is where the course gets boring.

MILE 13.1: Holy fucking shit I’m halfway there. I start a conversation with a guy in his fifties about how the inhuman Kenyans are just about to finish (we crossed the halfway at about 1:55, Felix Limo won the marathon shortly after at 2:07). Then I pick up the pace and make the old man eat my dust.

MILE 15.5: GO MARCOS is shouted again at me, coming from none other than Black Marcus, who was working the 25k marker. I speed up again, feeling empowered.

MILE 17: Mike, Jessica and Stefanie spot me and take movies in pictures as I pass through Greektown and make my way over the Halsted overpass of the Dan Ryan expressway.

MILE 17.5: Oh man I am dying I am dying, I am dy…POWERGEL! If you do not know, you cannot understand, and if you do know, you know too much. I grab a caffeinated chocolate one. Never has the taste of rotting cake frosting been so sweet on my lips.

MILE 19: I really feel like I’m going to die soon. We’re in Plisen (Mexican district) and they are giving out free water. I take it even though we have another water station coming up, but I arrive to late to grab an orange slice. I’m starting to suffer from hunger pangs, which isn’t so bad, because it makes me not think about my legs.

MILE 19.5-21.5: I am in so much pain, so much pain, so much pain…I’m desperately trying to keep up with the 3:55 pace group. Which means I’m doing much better than I hoped to- I trained to run a 4:30 marathon, and I might smash that by a half hour. We’ll see.

MILE 22: We are running through Chinatown, which has a huge amount of spectators cheering us on, they have the New Years dragon thing parading about…and I tackle some spectator moron who’s trying to cross the street. Idiot didn’t get out of the way…I get hit from behind, but all I hope is that idiot got trampled.

MILE 22.5: My pace starts to slow down, and I’m struggling to keep up with the pace group. We’re next to the expressway and the sun is beating down on us hard. I see Cominskey park and feel better, but then again, I still have four miles to go.

MILE 24: As I’m jogging behind Yves (who, according to his shirt, is “A very slow jogger from Belgium”), a lady starts screaming “Free Beer”. Yes, she is giving out Dixie cups of beer to passing runners. (For all you non-runners, beer is high in carbs. Carbs are good for runners, ergo, Beer=Good for runners.) One guy turns around and gets some. I wish it were free tequila. Oh well. I’ve had beer after running, and my tolerance is nonexistent after a long run. I decide finishing drunk, although an appealing idea, might not be too wise. So I pass up my man Yves and see if I can find the pace group.

MILE 26: Almost there…wait. We have to go up the motherfucking Roosevelt Street Bridge?! There is absolutely nothing more sadistic in the world than making runners go up a fucking hill .2 miles away from the finish line. Fuck you, you fucking bridge! I start to build up to a sprint and head toward the finish line…

MILE 26.2: …crossing at a clock time of 4:03:something, making my official chip time 3:55:30, a mere 30 seconds behind my pace group. As I walk through the finish area, in extreme pain and almost collapsing a few times, the realization that nothing is far away anymore hits me. Praise me, for I am the overman!

It's offical

2005-09-29T01:00:00.000-05:00

It is fucking cold outside.

Winter is about to arrive...

...Exciting! Almost as exciting as Tom Delay being indicted!

...I'm sorry that I'm using this to pass as a real entry. I apologize.

...Reading Think and Grow Rich. Don't hate me. It was a 1944 edition for $1 at the library!

I owe you all an update

2005-09-24T18:15:00.000-05:00

I'm all dressed up in the LIBRARY! Nice shirt, jeans, nice shoes, suit jacket...god I look pathetic/out of place. Whatever.

Well, since I should just fill this up with tripe, let's go over a few topics to waste some time, shall we?

classes
middle east politics: Nice class, it's already been canceled twice, and I'm not too far behind on my reading. Basically, all the problems currently going on in the middle east can be blamed on the British and the French for Royally Fucking Up The Ottoman Empire. For example, Iraq was created out of 3 totally unrelated Ottoman provinces and Jordan was carved out of a random patch of hardly inhabited desert.

logic: Like the subject. Kinda like abstract math with a purpose. Don't like the class. Don't like the teacher. The guy's gotta be a trekkie. It's a bit frightening. Took the first test on Friday; if I got an F I w

the un & international organizations: This is taught by Dr. G-Funk, who I had for international politics last year. He was pretty amazing then and is still great now. Interesting class with not much work to be done. I'm way behind on my reading though, a situation I'm trying to rememdy this weekend.

contemporary political thought: This is taught by Mr. Yoksas, a grad student adjunct who likes motorcycle metaphors and dresses like a lawyer. He's pretty awesome. We're [supposed to be] reading Nietzsche right now, and I finally have an appreciation for that crazy german with the dumb moustache. I think this class is a solid A.

american public policies: The guy who teaches this is Igo's long-lost nerdy younger brother. Enough said.

social and political philosophy: apparently, the Forty Year Old Virgin is no longer an electronics salesman, he's a philosophy instructor! A bad one too. I read Maus all last class. I should actually, ya know, read something he assigned, but that would give him legitimacy.

Anyway, I'm tired. I'll update more later.

You will?

2005-09-21T19:55:00.000-05:00

Huh.

I think that raises questions. And the shirt lends credence. But hey, what do I look like, a conspiracy theorist?

I'll have an actual update this weekend.

I had a great idea for a post last night

2005-09-07T17:37:00.000-05:00

But I never wrote it down so I forgot it. Damn.

I have a meeting in 40 minutes and Mr. John Locke is not that interesting, so I'll waste time by writing an entry in this.

I had hoped to kick off the first journal entry of the [school] year with a simple picture of Chicago and the title of "Hello, Chicago." Then I remembered that I didn't have a digital camera and the time it would take for me to get to the point of actually getting around to wasting a roll of film and then developing and scanning and posting would take a few weeks.

Thus, you get some random links about Hurricane Katrina and my depression about it.

Speaking of that, I read somewhere (I think it was dailykos) where the person commented that bush will be killing kittens on live TV and people will say something to the effect of "Those kittens were terrorists, Our Dear Leader is keeping us safe from the evil kitten menace." I mean, honestly. It boggles my mind how any informed can defend Bush in his response to this disaster. I've heard lots of morons take up the talking points and be like "OMGZ the LOKAL Gov faiLEd cant you c?"... but really. I challenge people to give me one instance where Bush actually did something in the first critical moments of the disaster. Oh wait. You can't.

It reminds me of my feelings on 9/11. I was pretty shocked along with the rest of the country, but after the first few days, one thing I didn't get was the whole "rally around bush/flag" (since, you know, they're interchangeable) mentality that gripped the nation right after the attacks. I mean, here we have a man, who, on his watch, has the greatest terrorist attack on our soil ever happen. And for some reason, this means we should support him? It makes my head hurt.

It just goes to support my assertion that the vast majority of the population should not be allowed to vote.

Anyway. Enough of my bitch bitch bitch.

I've been living off of a combination of wheat bread, peanut butter and jelly, pasta like substances, the occasional alcoholic beverage and water that I steal from my roommate. It's nice, really. Classes are ok, since I'm learning (for the most part) shit I want to learn. I'm still sure I'm out of here in two years. The marathon is in 32 days and I'm thinking I'll finish in about 5 1/2 hours. Terrible, but still within the limit. I also met John Edwards twice in the span of 10 minutes.

The first time was embarrassing, since i had punch in my left hand and Hors d'ourves in the other. I put the plate on the cup and stuck out my hand. I wanted to die. The second time I just went in, apologized, and told him I was a runner. He liked that. He's not that tall. Definitely has charisma though. Seems like he tries kinda hard, and not as good a speaker as Dean, but hey, I voted for the guy.

Although I didn't mention that I had a Wesley Clark sticker on my car in high school...

The disappointing things so far is the realization that a. I'm pretty much a bad friend and b. I still haven't snapped out of the hermit phase of summer. I've turned down chances to go out because I'd rather sleep, and that's lame. Sleep is for the weak, at least that's what Nietzsche says. And he is polluting my mind in Contemporary Political Thought.

I'm going to try to call all the people I haven't run into this weekend, but hey, who knows.

Maybe meeting Sen. Durbin this saturday, if I wake up? Who knows.

Katrina Stuff

2005-09-03T15:31:00.000-05:00

Daley 'shocked' as feds reject aid.

Oh yeah, and insert consipiracy theory here.

Gross incompetence much? I mean, I'm don't know about hiring for government work, but
His background in state and local government also includes serving as an assistant city manager with emergency services oversight and as a city councilman.
doesn't exactly seem to qualify him for this kinda thing.

I would write more, but it's just too depressing

Baby you be on my mind

2005-08-18T15:47:00.000-05:00

The title is not a song lyric, but it sounds like it could be from some generic rap/r&b song. I could make a living writing crappy songs. Hey, the guy who wrote "Mess Around" for Ray Charles was Turkish.

*Anyway, I have 8 days till I go back to Chicago, a realization that hit me all of three minutes ago. A few minutes before that, I had realized that I spent four hours online yesterday wasting my life. The Summer My Youth Goes To Die has been wasted on meaningless browsing on Myspace and Livejournal and various political blogs. The books I have meant to read have lain unread; I've ignored various friends all summer long, most whom have departed anyway.

*Alas, the blame should not be put squarely on the computer; had I not been distracted by this infernal machine, I probably would have read more, but not seeing anyone was more of a subconscious decsion. It feels pretty shitty to say, but I really feel closer to the friends I have in Chicago than virtually everyone (with a few exceptions) down here. Of course, I didn't exactly have that many close friendships, but I hardly made any attempts to keep in contact with anyone. I saw a handful of people once or twice, and even fewer (Chris, Grant) have I spent any extensive amount of time with.

*This does not bother me in the least, but I just wonder: shouldn't I even tried to call Pam or Megan? Actually, called them both once in fleeting moments and nothing came from it. A shitty person would blame them for not calling back, but I'm not a shitty person. Why didn't I make an attempt? Fuck. It reminds me of an old livejournal entry when I talked about attempting to be a hermit for a while. I failed the first time, but this summer, I inadvertently, unconsciously, succeeded at just that.

*I don't feel any regret over this. I'm more filled with the "What If?" possibilities through my mind- what if I had been more outgoing, what if I had made more of an attempt to truly go wild this summer, what if I hadn't gone to Chicago at all? Too much reading of Dune, with the prescient and the divination and the whatnot. Gahhh.

*Speaking of Dune, let's go on to other things. I'm reading the third book in the Dune Chronicles, Children of Dune, and am pretty lost. They definitely need a read over after this one before I move on.

*But back to the main gist of this entry, the reflection on... Whatever. I saw Megan R. a few days ago at Richland, shortly after failing my Statistics exam. I found myself standing behind her in line to sell books back. I wasn't sure if she had seen me (I would discover later that she was well aware of my presence), and after being told by the Campus Bookstore that they had no need of my book, I ran off straight to the records office. Where she was a whole two minutes later. It was most definitely one of the most weird moments of the summer, if not the weirdest.

*The last time we spoke was almost a year ago, around September when I attempted to date her. Of course, she had a boyfriend at the time and I ended up royally fucking up the situation, despite the consolations of Derrick and Erin saying that I had not. (I've always found it easier just to take all the blame anyway. The guy is always wrong, right?) Anyway, we ended up making small talk during the second encounter, with a random person in between us. I was flustered, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. She was smiling, but it seemed to be one of those Feigned Smiles, the kind a girl gives when she's trying to hide how uncomfortable she is. I got called up to the desk, filled out my paperwork and said a quick goodbye as I left. Her eyes seemed to say that she was more relaxed at that point, but what do I know?

*I'm not exactly sure what the whole point of that story was. Maybe it was to illustrate the summer? Or as more of a what if I hadn't fucked things up... Or something. I found out she's single now. Good for her.

*This thing is getting entirely too long. A sandwich is going to get in my belly.

In response to the "Comment" entry

2005-08-08T18:46:00.000-05:00

-I did not pass my statistics test with a 100. Nor do I think I even passed it at all. In fact, I would not even be surprised if I score a big fat 0 on it. However, this does not faze me, even though the rational person might argue that I should have withdrawn instead of condemning myself with an F. Perhaps I can somehow work this experience into my Law School Personal Statement. This shows that unlike a Richard Nixon style quitter, I am a John Paul Jones style "Damn the Torpedoes, Full speed ahead!" type moron.

-I need to see that girl, alas, I am to lazy/chickenshit to call her. And the rain scares me. Always has since the Incident. I will call...Tomorrow!

-I was awake because of nerves, and the knowledge that I was going to get up early anyway.

And a few more things

-I realized that commenting on my journal was limited to those who have a Blogger. I disabled this, even though I'm not about to fool myself to thinking that disabling that feature will make people ohsosuddenly start commenting on my journal. However, if you are "Loli" of the disabled journal http://biabiabia.blogspot.com, then leave me a comment telling me who the hell you are.

-Six flags needs to happen soon, forreal. Before I leave.

-I'm sad that Arkansas didn't happen. One day, one day.

-Behind on my running again.

-Working on some masterly political rants.

-That's about all. I'll update again soon, since I'm sure I forgot something.

Sunday Late Nite

2005-08-07T22:31:00.000-05:00

sunday late nite is where i talk about seven random things that have happened in the past week

1. Alas, Tax-Free weekend is over. I was planning on buy shoes and jeans; I ended up buying two brown shirts. Mission Failed.

2. My test in Stats this week was a 25. I need to make a 100 on both of the last two to pass the class. Thus, I have been on edge all today, since I am Hideously Underprepared. I took a nap today, so hopefully I can get started studying again. Too many distractions. Too much stress leads to me falling and sleeping the stress away. Good for the psyche, bad for the studying.

3. And now Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is on, and I'm resisting the urge to watch by updating this a little early.

4. My Mac died again. This makes me sad and means that I have to make it to the apple store sometime this week. Maybe tomorrow if I can find someone to go with me since I have to wait about two hours before I see someone about fixing my computer.

5. It seems like some things are falling apart in Chicago; People being done and people going crazy. I need to get back up there and fix things.

6. In the meantime, I'm reading Napoleon Bonaparte, a good fascinating read despite its huge length. I haven't been able to read much since I finished the Harry Potter books a few weeks ago. Dune is the fiction book in my messenger bag right now; a good novel and a good story, but as far as the interest level goes, it's not exactly the easiest book to get into.

7. My life is boring. I'm going to make it a bit more exciting, you all just watch.

comment

2005-08-07T04:16:00.000-05:00

It appears that my last entry contained my first comment. The person said they would like to know what's on my mind.

Here's whats on my mind in short.

-How to pass my Statistics test with a 100

-When I am going to see a certain someone again

-Why the hell I am awake when I have wanted to go to sleep since about 8pm

Expect Sunday Late Nite tomorrow.

2005-07-31T00:24:00.000-05:00

Back on the Mac.

Let's hope she doesn't die again.

I watch too much MTV in the mornings

2005-07-27T11:00:00.000-05:00

When the hell did Papa Roach reinvent itself as a pop punk band in the mold of Good Charlotte? I mean, if you're going to rip off other bands, at least rip off good ones like the Strokes do.

2005-07-25T16:55:00.000-05:00

Current Music: The Arcade Fire
Current Mood: Wired
Current Book: Dune

1. I read the first five Harry Potter books in seven days. That should be sufficient. However, I am still entirely too cheap to buy Half Blood prince and am seeking someone to loan it to me, seeing as that it will take me two days max to get through it.

2. I've decided that I do not like the films of Wes Anderson.

3. I had a Espresso Double Shot before I took my second Statistics Test today. I made a 63 on my first one. Here's to hoping that I did better. The espresso kept me awake, but here I am, utterly unable to nap. I'm hoping this feeling will last till when I really do need to go to bed.

4. Speaking of Statistics, It Sucks.

5. A few days ago my parents decided to have Chicken Wings for dinner. I hate chicken wings, seeing as that any kind of food where paper towels substitute for napkins are anathema to me. I convinced them to get me Taco Bell. As we were driving home, there was a Mr. Badass driving the car next to us. He had his sunglasses on, his windows up, a cigarette hanging in his mouth and a girl at his side. However, he was driving a Hyundai Tiburon.

I don't think any further explanation is necessary.

6. This summer is like, 2/3ds over. The downside is that it's been pretty crappy. The upside is I'm almost back in Chicago. But still, this is no way to enter Young Adulthood.

rain makes me sad

2005-07-15T20:05:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure which is more ridiculous: that Karl Rove can be praised as a whistleblower for outing a CIA agent, or that my Stepdad's dad has one of those novelty ringtones, showing that he is more tech savvy than I.

blackmail and witchcraft

2005-07-13T22:52:00.000-05:00

I'll make sure to keep this in mind for when I try to extort money out of politicians.

also, a short story

Around six or something years ago, perhaps a little longer, my mother and I were looking around Barnes and Noble, looking for a good book to buy. On one of the new releases table was a small stack of books. My mom read the first paragraph, said it was good and that she was going to buy it for me. I read the first couple of pages and thought it sucked. The book was Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and after it became apparent that it was A Big Fucking Deal, I assumed that the world had absolutely no taste and that I had a decent investment in a first american edition book that was sure to go through several printing.

Why do I speak of this story? Well, apparently the pope thinks that Harry Potter is Evil, thus leading me to assume that if this loser pope hates Potter, then I must be missing something. Sure enough, I read the first 100 pages of the book last night.

Damn, I have no taste.

update for the sake of update

2005-07-11T19:48:00.000-05:00

I'm not really awake. But I refuse to nap because I'm trying to get my sleep schedule back in order. So This is going to be a rambling assemblage of all the crap that's currently going on in my head.

-I sold my Microeconomics textbook for $10. I paid about $75. The only good thing was the cashier girl was totally checking me out. Or at least that's what I'm gonna tell myself. Or something.

-My sleep patterns are completely fucked. Here's a rundown since Friday:
friday night/saturday
1145pm: Get ready for bed
1200am: Andrea calls, wants me to sneak out and go to her boyfriends house
1203: Another call
1215: Another call
1220: Relent
1240: Get to boyfriends house, attempt to play strip blackjack, fails because the ladies are lame
215: Get home
400: Fall asleep
650: Wake up
1000: Fall asleep in car
200pm: Wake up
700: Fall asleep
sunday
700am: Wake up
930: Fall asleep in car
200pm: Wake up
900: Fall asleep
100am: Wake up
That was utterly unnecessary.

I've been up since then. I will fall asleep at a decent hour tonight! Anyway, I leave it to ya'll, my dear readers, to discover the amount of sleep I had. Since I'm entirely too lazy to figure it out.

-Went to the Clinton Library in Little Rock, Arkansas. Was awesome. The library, that is. Little Rock sucked. I got a souvenir for Grant, Kate, and Chris. Remind me ya'll and I'll get them to you guys sometime.

-My 4th (5th?) hard drive on my Mac is dying, so I'm back to using an ancient 200mhz something or other Pentium computer. I hate windows and its propensity to be filled with spy and adware. Damn you Apple for designing such wonderful programs but such terrible hardware!

-Stats starts tomorrow, for five or something weeks. 4 days a week, 1150-150. At least it's not in the evening. But it's during "when Marcos gets hungry" time, which is not good. And it's a actual subject, unlike Economics, which, like psychology, I term "Fake Science". Granted, that's not really true, but the utter incompetence of my microeconomics instructor made me believe that.

-One thing I hate about this browser is I can't see the typos while I'm typing in this fun little window.

-Somehow, this summer is turing into " The summer that got away" and not so much as "The summer that my youth goes to die." Recent events, however, suggest that the former may be correct after all.

-I'm thinking about applying at a temp agency. Money money money?

-I'm all burned out. I swear I will not nap! Expect more soon, since I'm sure something have escaped my mind.

man, firefox sucks

2005-07-07T04:59:00.000-05:00

A dictatorship would be a lot easier.
-G.W Bush, 1998

Isn't that the truth.

But then again, who knew that it would, well, actually be true?

Don't hate me because I'm bad at tenses

2005-07-07T02:40:00.000-05:00

Hate me because I love Styx. I have "Renegade" playing over and over again. I'm going to make myself sick of this song and then hate it and delete it, as to get rid of its infectious nature away. Then i will repeat this method with "Come Sail Away" and "Mr. Roboto".

I am lame.

But not as lame as the government, who happen to be very bad at lying..

I swear I will keep up with this more often. Really.

Sunday Late Nite

2005-06-27T01:24:00.000-05:00

Seven Random Things:

1. I really, really like "Into The West" on TNT. Like, wow. I mean, the acting is pretty stale (except for Jethro, he was awesome), but it's so...gripping! And lots of BAM you knew that was going to happen (like, the indians being wiped out and all), and yet you're still surprised.

2. I am completely and utterly incapable to stick to my marathon training regimen. I'm gonna create my own. My shin bones are about to crack through the skin, and it hurts like all hell.

3. The new DFW terminal was actually kind of nice. 99 ticket counters and 30something gates. It looks like O'Hare probably looked before it went to shit. Although, the idea that a fucking airplane terminal can bring tourism to Dallas is laughable, but not sad. What's sad is that the Taxpayers, are ohsosmallgovernment republicans, paid for virtually all of it.

4. While at the airport, I was handed this nifty little guide from Our Friends at British Airways:

5. And it was illustrated!

6. Being strapped for cash, I must also extend the offer I extend every summer: Who needs their lawn mowed? Marcos is your man!

7. Shit. I can't think of a Seven. Uh...damn. Goal for the week: See someone I haven't seen in a while.

Terrorism is the new abortion

2005-06-25T14:25:00.000-05:00

WARNING. Naughty language, offensive & awkward metaphors, ridiculously partisan ideas and conspiracy theories ahead.

For over thirty years, the Republican party as sucked the abortion tit like a starving child that hasn't had a boob in its mouth in days. Over and over again, they have railed and ranted and raved about the evils of Baby Killing and the idea that women somehow have a right to privacy about their bodies. Of course, this was all meaningless: abortion was just another "cultural" issue to get Ignorant People to the polls, so the Republicans could do the things they actually cared about: shift the tax burden to the poor, make big business less accountable for its actions, destroy the environment (in order to hasten the Second Coming of Christ), and the ultimate goal: tear down the New Deal and Great Society legacies of FDR and LBJ. Abortion, like gay marriage and "small government" were issues that they only feigned solutions for whenever the base got agitated, proposing legislation that wouldn't possibly be passed. However, the days of the republican party suckling on this teat are coming to an end. The unexpected happened: the Ignorant People actually have power now, and are they now have a chance to actually abolish abortion!

Now, as a Practicing Roman Catholic, I too am disturbed by abortion. However, I don't think a workable solution is possible, seeing as that the situations and circumstances of every woman's pregnancy are varied. The idea of a 30something woman aborting her child as vanity is disgusting to me; the idea of a thirteen year old girl who probably can't survive childbirth aborting hers because her father raped her is understandable. However, we rarely make distinctions with other kinds of private acts: a person has as much a right to sit on a street corner, burn the American flag and scream as how aliens from venus are going to attack as much as a person whom wants to discuss the superiority of government spending in a bad economy with a friend at Starbucks. The point is, we shouldn't ban it all just because some circumstances are despicable.

With the probable resignation of two or more Supreme Court justices before the end of Bush's term, abortion, for better or worse, is probably going to come to an end. Thus, what do the Republicans have now in order to work up the base?

TERRAISM!

Yes, terrorism. It's a fact that the US and UK governments just made shit up in order to start the war in Iraq. Why? Well, there is always the idea that Bush is just Batshit Crazy, but I refuse to believe that. He's stupid, but he's stupid like a fox. The base needs to be riled up. And what better way to do that then with Fear?

You think I'm crazy? What was once a repressive, secular dictatorship is now a extremist training ground! I mean, these people don't expect us to leave anytime soon, so I think it's safe to say that saying that the idea that the insurgency is in its "last throes" (previous link) is utter bullshit. Hmm, an endless war against a scary enemy? All the potency of abortion, less death, AND the rich contractors get fucking richer! Hey guys, it's win-win-win situation! Why put the fear of God into people when you can just make them fear?

my back is always sore from crouching in the chair

2005-06-24T20:05:00.000-05:00

I was so excited today because I was finnaly going to be home when the Simpsons came on. Then I forgot to watch, because I am a loser. For shame.

I wrote a long entry about terrorism and abortion. I'll get around to posting it soon.

Dinner with Jason tonight. Should be interesting.

Someone should go to the Consipracy Museum right across from the Dealy Plaza one of these days.

it is absolutely imperative that I wake up early tomorrow

2005-06-15T06:52:00.000-05:00

As my dearest readers can see, that will be a most difficult task to accomplish, considering the time right now.

In my livejournal, one of the things that I absolutely hated to do was to post and then update soon, such as a few hours, after. I felt that this distracted from the earlier post, and the new one usually had no pertinent information... thus making less people pay attention to the first. However, considering that I have in the vicinity of, oh, two readers (chris and grant), perhaps it would not be difficult for me to ask of them to scroll through and see what they've missed.

I've had a lot on my mind, unknowing on how to handle situations right now. One of the weirdest, although natural, problems that I have started to face this summer is that I'm creating problems for myself. Like, dreaming up situations, and then trying to solve them. They're not even problems. For example, let's take this issue of phone calls to people.

not problem
Me: Hi, it's Marcos. Let's hang out this weekend.
Whoever: Hey. Sounds good.
or
*Beep, voicemail*
Me: Hey, it's Marcos. Let's hang out this weekend. Call me back.

problem marcos creates
Me: [oh fuck, it's ringing. what if i get the voicemail? should i just say call me back or say how are you are lay out some plans or what goddamn i need some fucking woman advice wait who should i ask? brittany or soumy or kate or erin or]

To make the whole thing even more fucked up, I still haven't made the phone call in question, and I probably won't until I get ahold of one of those girls listed. I'm a loser baby.

You get the idea. And that's only part of it. I wait till the last minute for deadlines, I make contingency situations on what I should do if I wreck the car, I plan out how I'm going to get out of the next family trip, I lay out routes for runs that probably won't happen for another month... it goes on and on. It's not even drama that I'm creating. It's more like schizophrenia if anything.

And this whole nocturnal shit isn't exactly helping either. This is why I like to run. It's the only time that I can get away from my problems and meditate.

That and when I'm in my Microeconomics class and I play a game with myself, "See How Long I Can Consciously Force Myself To Not Pay Attention Without Realizing It", also known as "Daydreaming without the dreaming" or "Class Meditation Exercise #1". I think my record is a solid 20 minutes.

notes

2005-06-15T02:05:00.000-05:00

I'm all suited up, ready to go running, and yet I have a very bad foreboding feeling about it. So I'm just gonna stay in tonight. I swear I'll attempt to do it tomorrow morning. Really. I will.

The past couple of days have been interesting for me.
Friday night, I took a test in each of my economics classes. Macro, which I don't have a book in, I received a 93. Micro, which I do have a book in, I received a 79, thus proving my hypothesis that my Micro teacher has absolutely no idea what she is talking about.

More interesting than that, I got a call from Mahmood after class, who invited me to go to a restaurant/club with him and his ladyfriend and his ladyfriend's friends. I accepted, quickly dressed up, (forgot to brush my teeth) and ended up at a Salvadorian restaurant in Addison dancing the night away with a champion debater girl who's going to be at Harvard in the fall. I'm a pimp.

Saturday saw me get a (very good) haircut that preserves my curls while making the hair less...insane. I proceed to eat large amounts of food and went off with Chris to a movie party in Denton. Chris' friends were pretty cool, and they seemed to like my witticisms and making fun of Mel Gibson. And I finally got to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind, which I figured out about 5 minutes into it, but no matter, it was still entertaining.

Sunday was boring, boring, boring, boring, RUN 8.3 MILES IN FIFTY EIGHT MINUTES, stay high on endorphins, bask in athletic awesomeness, sleep.

Monday I found myself back into the boring ritual of sleep, eat, class, sleep. Running had to be taken off seeing as the large amounts of soreness all over. I seriously need to start running mornings like I did in Chicago.

now time for something completely different
THINGS THAT ANNOY ME

-People that shout at me when I'm running. I don't even understand it. I'm running. You're in a car. How am I annoying you? If the image of a person running along the street, harming no one, is offensive to you, then you probably ought to be shot.
-Stupid teenage girls who date loser older guys (Sorry dear, he may be twentysomething but he's still the assistant manager at the dollar theater. That makes him an unambitious loser, not some kind of "Wise", "Mature" guy who knows the ways of the world. The fact that he's twenty four and works at a dead end job shows that he's been running away from the world, not learning and experiencing it)
-When people teach classes in subjects that is not their expertise...I mean, you don't have history teachers teach math, why the hell would you have a healthcare expert teach fucking economics?

a quick observation

2005-06-09T11:53:00.000-05:00

So I'm watching VH1, and this band Keane comes on. It's like someone took the shittiest elements of U2 and Coldplay, and put them together. And the lead singer looks like a child molester.

She's just not that into you

2005-06-08T16:57:00.000-05:00

a pep talk to myself, written on sunday night

The phone calls left unreturned, the rescheduling, the fleeting IMs of which she seemed to get offline just to stop talking to you and make it less awkward for everyone involved... combined with your inability to shut the fuck up when you hang out with her and her goal oriented, no guys persona... Well man, you've seen this with her before and yet you come back to try (and fail) again. Oh well man, fuck it. It's time to cut your losses and focus on the dumb community college girls you're bound to meet in the coming weeks- you know the ones, the skanky ones who never wanted to date but told you to come back to them "when you're rich", like Monica R. told you too many times. Pull a Mike, man! Show your lithe body and your mad running skillz! Flaunt your intelligence and set off their "He's a guy I could marry!" alarm in their heads and use 'em for what they're worth. Hell man, you're 19 fucking years old, graduating from college in three years, you'll have your JD god willing by the time you turn 24, and maybe even your MA by then too. You ain't no Ubermensch- but you're better than a lot of the other fish in the fucking sea. Get used to it man, and use the talents you got. You ain't gonna win 'em all, hell, you'll probably lose most- but it'll all be worth it, man.

If you need a clearer fucking picture than that, my whopping 2 readers out there, then...well, ya'll shouldn't even be reading this. Anyway, having four hours of Economics during Prime Sleeping Time is terrible. There are people in my first class who can't be older than 15. My second class isn't as bad, but...whateva. I'd rather not think about it, let alone write about it.

There are also no hot girls in either of my classes. This makes me sad. In fact, they're pretty depressing (shit, here I am writing about it) in the sense that none seem interesting/available, but Donna is in first class, and having someone I know (however vaguely) does help a bit.

Marcos needs lovin'. Heh. Or something.

Marathon training is coming terrible. Last night my calves felt so tight that I thought they were going to expose the bone. Alas, they fell better now, but if you touch them the right way, I scream bloody murder. Damn shin splints.
Times for past few days:
Wednesday: 3 miles/ 31 minutes
Thursday: 3 miles/ 26 minutes
Friday: 3 miles/ 26 minutes
Saturday: 3 miles/ 43 minutes (just don't ask...stupid heat and dehydration)
Sunday: 2.5 miles/ 22 minutes
Monday: 2.75 miles/ 22 minutes
Tuesday: 2.5 miles/ 21 minutes

Rest today, sprints on Thursday, 4 miles on Friday, sprints on Saturday, 5 miles on Sunday.

waste and related topics

2005-06-02T21:44:00.000-05:00

As I walked into the kitchen to pick up my cellphone (which, I have lost in the past 4 minutes since finding it) I noticed that the trashcan was full, again. Now, it's not a particularly large trashcan, but the fact that we emptied it last night makes me feel embarrassed. I mean, everything in there was trash. But how do we create so much? How is it that my family, who (at least i like to think) is pretty frugal, can create no less than 15 pounds of waste in such a week's time? It's insane. I think I'm going to start cataloging the trash, because I'm curious and crazy.

However, this reminded me of some other things that have been recently on my mind. Waste in general kind of permeates everything in my life, and imagine many other people's lives, also. Like, Waste of Time. I spend entirely too much time just... surfing the internet, reading Wikipedia (which, reminds me of the time in about 3rd grade when a kid made fun of my use of big words and accused me of reading the dictionary, to which i retorted, "no, i read the encyclopedia"), political blogs and other such nonsense. Instead, I tried to resolve this by reading or writing whenever I had a free moment. Naturally, I fuck this one up, since I never return to the writing and the only place I like to read is at Starbucks or the like, which involves me Wasting Money and Wasting Gas. Thus the reason I'm a bad friend and am not out visiting Erin's Starbucks right now- that requires too much gas.

Thus, I sit at home, nice and secure, declining two invitations out and end up writing a post about Wasting Opportunities in exchange for fleeting comfort.

Can't escape waste even if you try.

ANYWAY

Movie party, my house, tomorrow, 5pm- till when people leave.
The Hebrew Hammer- The Battle of Algiers- The Boondock Saints- whatever else people want to watch.

Leaving for a few days

2005-05-29T05:15:00.000-05:00

Whenever I make the trip out ot West Texas, either to Lamesa, Midland or Lubbock, I always look up at just the right (wrong?) time to notice a sign directing the driver to Big Spring. Big Spring isn’t in the way; I don’t even think that we’ve passed through it in years. The thing that stands out in my mind about it is Southlake girl.

In debate, for my senior year, i found myself taking the mantle of Brittany’s spot on the team as “Team Slut”. I had a habit of talking to girls (omg, I’m such a fucking weirdo) and trying to get to know them, become friends, get their numbers. With Southlake girl, I did all of that and also ended up making out with her. Not bad after knowing someone all of three hours. I’m a pimp.

Southlake girl was from Big Spring. She gave me her address, two phone numbers, an her email. I, being the terrible horny bastard that I am/was at the time, emailed her three weeks later with a bullshit excuse about losing the book she wrote all of this in. She saw through it, emailed me back a one line letter, and I didn’t here from her again till the state tournament.

I was leaving the auditorium after the awards ceremony, alone. I forget why I wasn’t with the rest of the team at the time; on reflection, it almost seems like this encounter was fated.
“Hi Marcos.”
My heart stops. I know that voice. I knew she would be here, and I knew that I forgot her name. I forget how the rest of the conversation went, but it was short and obviously angry on her part.

Could anything have come from the relationship- five hour distance? Probably not. But I didn’t even attempt to maintain a friendship. In the end it’s just another bad reason to go to West Texas, because I remember her and I remember how shitty I was to her. Shitty things come from West Texas. Bad actions, bad relationships, just, well, bad.

Their are only two reasons that my family makes the six to seven hour trip to West Texas: either to bury or marry someone. This time was different. It may have very well have been to say goodbye, but we can’t be sure. My 2nd cousin Vanessa was feeling a weird feeling in her stomach and back, and went to the ER to have it checked out. The doctor in her own town, Lamesa, kept saying it was nothing. So they went to Texas Tech Medical Center. Her family doesn’t have insurance; they can’t afford it.

Without insurance, hospitals usually don’t give a shit about you unless you’re in really bad shape.

Saying she's in bad shape would be an understatement. She has a private room and the doctors are going to meet on Tuesday to figure out what to do with her condition- since it’s extremely rare to find a healthy, physically fit 21 year old woman with stage III gastric cancer. It’s in her stomach, espohagus, back, lymph nodes, and may have already spread to the bloostream and bones.

I’ve never known Vanessa very well- her mom an my mom are cousins and have always been close. Vanessa has always been a sweet girl, as my mother put it, “We probably wouldn't be here if it was [her sister] Perla”. I’m just shocked by the whole situation. Apparently there was some mutation on some chromosome an it’s one of those one and a billion type things and no one knows what the hell is going on because the doctors that are there won’t say anything until the specailsts come back on tuesday.

My mom’s cousin Pepe did manage to look over one of the doctor’s shoulders and read part of the file. His face went white and he told Vanessa’s mom- “There are always miracles...”

When I'm twenty one, I plan on graduating, planning my post college plans, where I'm going to grad school and where I'm going to live. Not in a hospital bed, realizing that my life is over, only able to move when doped up on morphine because otherwise the pain of the tumors is incapacitating.

I really just don't know what to feel. I don't want to collapse into some "life is fragile" bullshit, because I think that a person controls their own destiny most of the time. This is one of the weird situations where "most of the time" doesn't really apply. A few days ago, she was just a girl finishing up her second year in college, now she probably won't make it till the end of the year.

Just...damn. Like I said, nothing good is in West Texas.

emergency

2005-05-27T12:57:00.000-05:00

A family emergency has occurred- I'll be in Lubbock for a few days. I'll update when i get the chance.

eyes are heavy...

2005-05-26T02:01:00.000-05:00

Knees weak...no, this is not a rap song, it's my nightly post, as to show my commitment to this new journal that I am about to premier to the world in a few days. Or as was sneak previewed to Deirdre...er, well, who I told that I was abandoning dear old livejournal.

However, I would like to begin this entry with a rant that I have been developing in the back of my mind for the past couple of weeks: Cowboy boots.

I found myself walking out of Osco one fine afternoon in sunny Chicago, finding myself on the corner of Devon and Granville, waiting for the walk signal to appear. I was not like the rich hindu lady with food stamps; already a leech to society, she proceeded to exit the store and blatantly jaywalk across devon, because apparently walking the twenty or so feet to the crosswalk was far to difficult for her and her small child to endure. For her, it was obviously much easier to endanger her life and her child's life (Not to mention the ill gotten groceries!) in an attempt to shed off a whopping three minutes of her walk. Then again, perhaps it was necessary to do all this- she had been shopping in an interesting way, by picking up a good, bringing it to the counter and putting it aside, and repeating until she finished getting everything. I, being quiet and respectful, turned up the volume on my iPod in order to focus on something else, and had my face arrange itself as to show no expression.

I bought my packaging tape and had walked down the street, full of anger at the Lazy People of Society, when my anger quickly found a new target. I saw, opposite of myself, a young girl of about 12-14 wearing what was already a bad dress with COWBOY BOOTS. Cowboy boots. In Chicago. Not downstate Illinois, where one might expect to find such nonsense, but here in the most urban environment one could think of- Cowboy boots while standing in front of a gay coffee shop which also happens to be across from a mosque. Now, perhaps you could argue that Cowboy boots here contribute to the whole diversity aspect to the urban experience. After all, around 80 or so languages are spoken in my area of Chicago. However, I would say this is wrong. This girl was not a:
-Cowboy
-Texas Oil millionaire
-Texas Cattle Baron
And as everyone knows, those are the only people who can really pull off cowboy boots. Suddenly, I felt, "My god, I should write about this- sure, people will see it as filler, but hell, it's a somewhat interesting story that's moderately well written!"

Anyway, come back tomorrow for more useless stories with no real ending!

I must be getting a little tired...

2005-05-25T05:39:00.000-05:00

As I attempted to sign in, I found myself using my normal livejournal username and password combination.

Apparently, I created a blog that predates the livejournal by about three months. Insane.

I can't sleep. I ran two miles this evening- easily, without the heaving and disorientation of Monday night's 1 3/4 mile run. I'm getting back to where I was, woot?

I'm not getting used to the weather down here. It's too...sticky. Heat I can deal with. Heat's not a problem. But whenever I go outside, it's like I'm walking through liquid saran wrap, and that's not exactly a pleasant feeling.

All I've done the past couple of days is spend money at Starbucks and run errands for my mother, because I'm a bum who has no desire to work, read, or do anything productive. I still have yet to register at Richland or truly attempt to make this summer "The Summer My Youth Goes To Die" as I have proclaimed on several occasions. My sleeplessness led to a half hearted attempt to clean my room. I was going to organize it, but...I'm a bum.

SUMMER RESOLUTIONS
-Read at least 1 book a week, but try for three
-Limit personal spending to twenty dollars a week
-Get people to come pick me up, and just use most of personal money to pay people's gas
-Get an unsteady job in order to work infrequently and on my own terms to make up for lack of funds
-Party like my youth is going to die at the end of the summer (interpret that one as you will)

Tessa brought up how she's run into so many people since she's been up here, and I'm glad that I haven't had that experience. I suppose we might have different ideas of "running into people" might mean, because i get the unpleasant feeling in the stomach where i feel the need to nod, say hello and make small talk with some person who I don't know, don't care to know and really have no care for what they've been up too. But the upside is that I have seen people I've wanted to see and haven't run into anyone I don't want to see. I've hung out with Chris and Grant several times, and I've seen Kate, Tessa, Erin, Derrick, and Eryn. And it has been good.

For whatever the last week and a half is worth, I give this summer the score that Jana gave me...a 7, but I'd rather be somewhere else...

Getting this started

2005-05-24T03:39:00.000-05:00

It's late, I'm tired, but yet I have a feeling that I need to do...something.

Not sure what, exactly, but this is as good as anything. I've been meaning to retire the Livejournal for awhile now...it's going on four years, and with everyone moving over to that shithole website Xanga, I might as well take a step up and cast away the friends list entirely.

Now you'll have to bookmark me instead of just being lazy and checking the friends list. Why am I moving over here?

1. I'm bored with livejournal. It's had a good run, but I need something new. It's a connection to many people that I'd rather pass on having connections with.

2. As narcissistic as it sounds, this forces people to actually think, "Hey, I should go read Marcos' blog (dear god I hate that word) now." I skim over most of the entries on the friends list, only actually reading the ones that look interesting from the first sentence. I imagine many people are the same with the postings from me.

3. Like I said at first, this is my anti-xanga. Here I am, using pretty much the most detached website you can use to have one of these things. No friends list, no complex profile page, and the ability to modify all you want.

4. I also want to be able to do more without having to offend anyone. I always hate to post something political on my livejournal because I think I might offend someone's political sensibilities, however wrong they might be (yay more narcissism). Here, if you don't want to read what I have to say, then you don't. Forget all about Marcos if you like!

Anyway. That's the late night statement of purpose. Let's get this thing off the ground and then announce the transition at the end of the week.

testing

2005-03-14T01:44:00.000-06:00

one two three...one two three...one two three...